Marriage and family class Essay Example for Free

Marriage and family class Essay in that respect be many unalike particularors of communion in relationships. One of the most often asked questions about conversation is how oneness achieves mutual communication in any type of a relationship. People some(a)times feel that communication makes a better marriage. more spate often wonder how to reconnect with their partner after communication has stopped. remains language or non communicative communication plays a major role in communication. These are some the topics that for shell be discussed in this research paper.Mutual communication is achieved when both partners in a relationship female genitals efficaciously get a line and communicate their feelings with one a nonher. Some say that this is the basis for a healthy long lasting relationship. thither are many skills a expert listener has to require. Some of which are easier to express than others are. The most strategic of which is expressing empathy (De Jong). In mutual communication both partners should make eye contact with one another. Usually when one makes eye contact it shows that they are paying attention to what the other person is saying to them at the time. When mutually communicating neither partner should send destructive centres. Destructive messages include but are not limited to ordering, threatening, lecturing, and ridiculing (Lauer). Destructive messages lead to conflict and not resolution.When one person sends a destructive message to the listener the listener more than alike(p)ly will get discouraged and that will make the incident worse. Ordering and threatening lead to more of a power struggle rather than to effective communication. There are manydifferent styles of a poor listener. There are people who fake the fact that they are listening when their mind is in another place. For spokesperson John is making it seem like he is listening to his wife Julie when in fact he is thinking about his golf back the next d ay.There are people who interrupt. Interrupting decreases mutual communication. There are also people who can intellectually listen and carry on a conversation. An example of an intellectual listener is Jessica. Jessica has just told her mate Jake about her new teacher at her college. She tells Jake what he taught and the manner in which he taught it. Jessica is clearly large(p) Jake non verbal cues that should lead him to believe that she has a romantic interest in the new teacher. Jake does not blame up on the cues but criticizes the style that the teacher uses to teach his classes.Some people say that communication makes a better marriage. public conversations increase satisfaction by mop upering a broad take off of topics to be discussed. Usually in a marriage, when everyday conversation increases happiness, and the partners often laugh more together. Everyday conversation also allows the couple to talk about their interests and the happenings of their day in a relaxed and calm setting. When you have true communication in a marriage, conflicts are often calmly discussed.People in a marriage are ego disclosed. Self disclosure is defined as the honest revealing of ones self to another. Self disclosure increases intimacy and marital satisfaction (Lahey). Partners who are in a married agency often feel the need to communicate their feelings and ideas to keep their marriage open, happy, and healthy. The main reason for breakup of marriages is a lack of communication (Stark). The cause for the lack of communication most often is that people do not know how to properly communicate with one another especially in a conflict pip where they do not agree on a wind.Sometimes it takes someone from a neutral point of view to point this fact out to couples, who are having problems in the relationship. Most often the couple will not realize that they have a problem unless an outside source points it out to them. This could help them or create more conflict with in the relationship. If there is a problem, and there is no communication between the two partners in the relationship the problem willgrow. However, if there is good communication the problem has potentiality to be resolved and to possibly never reoccur (De Jong).It is also important, to effectively communicate, to maintain the boundaries. Maintaining boundaries is the separation of crustal plate support from work life. If you bring your work life into your home life discussions, it is more than likely that you will get distracted from the topic at hand (Stark). Some people bring their work life home it creates jealousy. Jealousy is also a leading cause of breakups in a relationship (Laurer). When people effectively communicate in a married relationship, exchange and role equity are heightened. Exchange equity, for example is the female being the primary bread winner and the male staying home. Role equity, is sharing the chores of the house as well as the duties of the head of t he house.Partners in a married relationship may have different opinions about role and exchange equity. Some people feel that the female should stay home and be a traditional house wife. For example the woman would do the dishes, laundry, and take care of the children. Some people feel that both the male and female should be adequate to go to work and have a career. Effective communication in a marriage about these kinds of feelings can solve many succeeding(a) problems in a rational and timely manner (Lauer). Therefore, if there is ample problem solving and good communication, in a marriage it will generally be a healthier, happier, more satisfying marriage.Body language or non-verbal communication is said to be used between 50-80 percent in a relationship. Wo hands use non-verbal cues or personate language more often than males do. Non verbal cues froe example are the get in which a person is sitting, the expression on ones face, or the amount of eye contact that they are maki ng. If you have an open posture, and are leaning in towards the speaker, you are giving off good body language. If you are sitting with your arms crossed, and a closed posture then you are giving off bad body language. Wo workforce also tend to read into body language and the meanings behind it more than men (Lauer).Women tend to read body language on a more emotional level than men do. For example women tend to see when someone has a romantic interest in another where as men do not see that. Partners, generally speaking, in a good relationship should be able to readthe other partners body language and know what they want to say without them always having to carry their thoughts. Body language can tell your partner what you are thinking without actually having to say it.I decided on this particular topic for a few reasons. The first of which is that I have seen a lot of friends and family who have been in relationships that did not last and wanted to figure out why that was. The s outh reason was because I thought it could help me in my future relationship(s), and to help me from making the same mistakes that I have in the past or that others have made.Another reason that I chose this topic is because I am also interested in being a counselor and counselors need to be able to have good communication with their clients. Another reason is because counselors need to be able to understand, in some sense, where their clients are coming from and to be able to help in any way possible.One good analogy that I found one day while surfing the internet was this If you were to be in thorough and complete communication with a car and a road, you would certainly have no encumbrance driving that car. But if you are in only partial communication with the car and in no communication with the road, it is fairly certain that an accident will occur. This was said by Ronald Hubbard who is an expert in the subject area of scientology. He deals mainly with the realm of communicat ion.That quote really inspired me to look into the realm of communication further. I wanted to know what effects that it had on a relationship and / or a marriage. Just an windup piece of advice The best problem solving agent is honest open and effective problem solving. works CitedDeJong, Peter. Interviewing for Solutions, 2nd Edition. CaliforniaWadsworth Group, 2002.Hubbard, Ronald. www.standardtraining.com Church ofScientology International 2000-2002.Lahey, Benjamin B., Psychology an introduction, 7th Edition. NewYork McGraw Hill, 2001.Laurer, Robert H. and Lauer, Jeanette C., Marriage and Family, quaternateEdition. Chicago Brown Benchmark, 2000.Stark, Rodney. Sociology, 8th Edition. Wadsworth Group, 2001.